I'm going to bed now, and I won't be working on this for another 14 hours or so...but here's what I think we need to do:
1. Get the handle of the CommandButton using the FindWindow and / or FindWindowEx APIs
2. Use SendMessage to set the BM_SETSTATE of the button to TRUE for "highlighted" (pressed down, like a left click) and I think we also need to set it back to FALSE after a set time (we may need a timer API as well for that)
Check out the info I found for BM_SETSTATE with SendMessage as msdn:
http://msdn.microsoft.com/en-us/library/bb761823(VS.85).aspx
I hope this can get you started. If you have never used APIs, then this is going to be a crazy ride for you. A real "crash course".
Good luck and I'll check back soon.
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